That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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