Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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