don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I love having hate sex.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
