I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I have fence marks all over my body
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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