I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize
