I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize