i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
