thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
