Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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