if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
