Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
