mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
It's just like the Real World with babies
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize