Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
