Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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