I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
