yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
