I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
