Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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