Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
