Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
zippers are such a cool invention
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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