listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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