Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
NoShamevember. You game?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
