I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize