For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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