At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
