And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
