I feel like abortions should bother me more
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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