Nicole vs. Life
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
