so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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