don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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