we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Randomize
