he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
