Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
