So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
