Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
