shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
