I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
