Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
