She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
