Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
