This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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