please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
