so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
