Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
