is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
