hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
