Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I wear drunk well.
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