If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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