Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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