Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
