you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Let's get the cat blown out
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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