Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
