She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
