He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
