Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
This house was built for laser tag.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
