dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
