hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
