I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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